FP-Adventures in Babysitting
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Spike, Sam I have a very important assignment for you both. Really Ed? What's that? Babysit Izzy. um..what? Chapter 3 up now! Sam & Spike surprise Raf, come join the fun.
1. Two Guys & A Gurl

**Title: Adventures in Babysitting  
>Chapter 1: Two Guys and a Girl<strong>

**Summary:** Spike, Sam I have a very important assignment for you both. Really Ed? What's that?

**Disclaimer: **If you don't know read more of my stories...anything FP related belongs to the show (if not I'd have Ed Lane all to myself) :D

**A/N:** Okay so yes was watching an old 80's movie with a similar theme (lol 3 men & a baby) but decided to only capitalize on the one night of botched babysitting aspect and hope you all like this a little; its also my first attempt at something funny so go easy please (no peril or angst in this). Yes I do love my Eddie but alas this theme just lent itself to Spike and Sam. Hope you like it.

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><p>"Thanks guys I owe ya one. Sophie and I will be back in a few hours and you have my number. You have everything you need and Izzy doesn't fuss much. You said you could handle this right?" Ed anxiously asks the two younger men before him.<p>

"Yeah we got it," Sam assures their team lead with a smile after he gets a firm nod from Spike on his right.

"Go and enjoy your date night," Spike adds with a warm grin.

"This is hers…" Ed hands the well-stocked back to Spike and then pulls back with a small frown. "So uh…"

"We'll be fine Ed," Sam tries once more.

"Yeah. I mean we handle rough stuff for a living right?"

"He doesn't want to hear that," Sam whispers after noticeably poking Spike in the ribs.

"Rough stuff. Okay I gotta run…look just call if you need…anything."

Sam and Spike watch Ed leave Sam's apartment and then close the door. "Why did you say rough stuff?" Sam groans as he and Sam walk up to Izzy who was peacefully sleeping in her travelling chair.

"Well we do," Spike shrugs.

"He doesn't want to hear that."

"Okay sorry."

"Why didn't he just leave Izzy at your parents place?" Sam frowns as he nods to Spike to follow him into the living room.

"Yeah that's all I need to hear from my ma…is Mikey when are you gonna get me one of these," Spike just shakes his head, drawing a small laugh from his friend. "Why didn't he ask Jules? She's a girl and all…I mean it's kinda natural right?"

"Nice stereotype," Sam laughs at Spike who merely shrugs. "But uh…I think she's busy."

"Really? Think it's a date? You know new guy and all?"

"A date…I uh…maybe. Okay so…" Sam's voice trails off, hoping Spike would get the hint and drop the subject – he didn't.

"Really? Like who?"

"Spike I don't know. Could be but…who knows, she's pretty private about that stuff."

"Yeah that's true. So you…ever want kids?" Spike asks Sam directly.

"Kids…yeah sure um…maybe…I don't know…I guess I…" Sam rattles off and then stops.

"Okay…that was…I was just askin'."

"I don't know. What about you?"

"Maybe if I found the right girl," Spike sighs as he opens Sam's fridge and then pulls out two beers and then hands one to Sam. "Are you seeing anyone?" Spike asks, making Sam lightly choke on his beer swallow and then cough. "Sorry again?" Spike asks somewhat sheepishly.

"No it's good. I just swallowed to fast," Sam frowns as he places the beer on the table. "So we got pizza and I think if we play the TV softly we're all set," Sam answers firmly giving Spike a look that really said to drop it this time; thankful that his friend finally does.

"Maybe she'll sleep all night."

"Yeah if we're lucky," Sam slumps down into couch and then flips on the TV. "So can you really see Ed changing diapers?"

"Maybe he just pulls a gun and orders Clark to do it," Spike chuckles.

"Yeah hot call at the Lane house – a dirty diaper has to be vacated. Clark you're lead on this," Sam tries to copy Ed's commanding tone but ends up laughing as well just as Izzy makes known that she's awake and wanting attention.

"You woke her up," Spike sighs at Sam.

"I did not," Sam frowns. "So much for dinner."

"So much for her sleeping all night," Spike pipes up.

The two of them exchange glances as soon as they hear the little girl starting to fuss and instantly stand up. "Speaking of hot calls," Sam groans as they head for the baby carrier still near the front door.

"Should we pick it up? I mean her…" Spike nervously stammers as both of them peer down at Izzy who was now fully awake and looking up at them while flailing her arms and about to let them both know she was in need of food and a change. "I'll get her."

"I think…" Sam starts only to have Izzy let out a loud bellow. "Oh damn…"

"Don't curse," Spike whispers as his fingers fumble with her belt.

"Sorry…just um hurry."

"It's stuck," Spike groans as he spies Sam's Swiss Army Knife on the table nearby and reaches for it.

"Hey man that's not a bomb and if you cut that thing and Ed will go all Scorpio on us. Here let me," Sam pushes Spike out of the way and tries to push the large red button to extricate the now screaming baby. "Something's caught in here."

"Should we call him?"

"Only if you wanna get demoted to parking duty…"

"Coffee shop duty?" Spike chuckles.

"Don't remind me. Okay there…got it," Sam steps back up. "Okay pick her up."

"Me?" Spike looks at Sam before both of them look back down at Izzy. "Uh sure…I can do this," he talks to himself as he holds Izzy a few feet from him and Sam, her little arms continuing to flail and her little pink lips quivering. "Maybe she's hungry?"

"Pizza? Kidding," Sam teases as he reaches into the travelling bag and pulls out a small bottle. "Oh right gotta warm it."

Spike brings Izzy closer to his chest and tries to cradle her uncooperative frame as he slowly follows after Sam into the kitchen. "I think she…Sam…what is that?"

"Oh d…" Sam starts to curse again as he turns to the microwave and sees the milk starting to bubble. "I thought I put twenty seconds," he groans as he quickly pulls the superheated milk from the oven. "Too hot. Think we can give her regular milk?"

"What do you think that is?" Spike wonders as he tries to bounce Izzy in his arms.

"Breast milk?"

"Like from…" Spike stops, making a face that instantly makes Sam laugh.

"It's probably formula genius," he teases his friend as he opens the fridge and stares at his small carton of milk.

"Hey you can Google it. The net knows everything."

"Right!" Sam agrees as he hurries to his laptop on the kitchen table with Spike in tow.

"Hi Izzy…" Spike smiles and tries to soothe. "Please stop crying or your daddy is not going to trust us again," he states in a happy-like tone. Izzy's round blue eyes look at him and for a few seconds she stops to fuss, forcing Spike's expression to mimic hers. However, as soon as her lips open and a resounding bellow comes from her lungs, Spike's smile quickly fades.

"Gosh the net has…okay how old is she?"

"Call Jules," Spike suggests. "She'll help us and won't tell Ed."

"No way…she can't…we can do this Spike. We are two responsible guys…most of the time," Sam states firmly, not wanting to add that he didn't want to seem incompetent to his secret girlfriend in front of his unsuspecting team member. "How old is she?"

"Izzy how old are you?" Spike teases with a smile. "I think six months now right? Maybe seven? She's crawling."

"Okay six months…sure as long as she's not allergic. If she is…then she barfs."

"Great," Spike groans as he watches Sam take the hot bottle, pour out half, add half cold milk to make it the perfect temperature and then hand it to the hungrily little baby. Izzy's small hands clutch the bottle, her tiny pink lips sucking greedily at the nipple. "Hey you didn't wash the nipple."

"Pardon?" Sam counters and both of them smirk. "She's fine with…that."

Both of them head into the living room where Sam takes Izzy from Spike so that Spike can try to clean up some of the pizza stuff. He looks down at the small precious child in his arms and can't help but feel a fatherly protective instinct take over; he kinda understood Ed's soft spot for kids. Sam looks up just as Spike knocks something over.

"Oh man that's gonna stain. Hold on you need proper cleaner," Sam moans as he, without really thinking about it, puts Izzy down on the floor and hurries to help.

"Do you have any more paper towels…Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Izzy?"

Sam twists around to the spot he thought he left her and then looks at Spike in terror. "Quick find her."

"I can hear Ed now Sam...you lost my daughter where?"

"Just find her," Sam pokes Spike in the ribs.

"Izzy!" Spike calls out, making Sam just shake his head as he heads for his bedroom. Spike follows after Sam and both of them look at Izzy who had a bunch of CD's in one hand and a pair of black boxers in the other.

"Are they clean?"

"Yes," Sam retorts as he snatches the package of underwear away from Izzy's hands. "Don't tell Ed," Sam groans as he heads for the baby, carefully plucking the CD's from her sticky fingers, which in turn only makes her cry. "Okay Spike turn on some of that Italian charm and make her stop crying again."

"Okay…shhh Izzy its okay…please stop crying or else Sam's landlord will complain and he'll be evicted and out on the street and be demoted to coffee shop attendant."

"Funny," Sam smirks as he watches Spike and Izzy leave and quickly puts the rest of his stuff away and then heads back into the living room where Spike was now bouncing Izzy on his knee. "Spike she…just…ate…" Sam warns too late as Izzy's stomach throws back some of the mixed milk onto Spike's denim clad leg forcing the SRU bomb tech to make a face and then frown. "Way to go," Sam groans at his friend as he quickly takes Izzy from Spike, allowing his friend to clean himself up.

"I didn't know," Spike moans as he watches the runny vomit run down his leg a bit more and then send some drops onto the carpet. "Look at my jeans?"

"Yeah but now she's got barf on her sleeper and the floor. Check the bag from Ed for something fresh for her to sleep in."

"Copy that," Spike answers without hesitation as he hurries to the kitchen to clean the milk off his jeans and then back to the entrance to get the well-stocked bag Ed had given them to use. He heads back to the living room and kneels down beside Sam who takes the blanket and with one hand helps Spike to stretch it out before he places Izzy down on it.

"Okay so maybe we should change her diaper also?" Sam asks softly as they both look down at Izzy who had suddenly gone quiet and was looking up at them with large, tear stained eyes. But as soon as she breaks into a small smile, both men's expressions soften and smiles are mirrored on their faces as well. Sam's fingers start to undress the soiled soft sleeper, poking her soft body in certain places and evoking infectious laughter to fill the room.

"Do we wash that?" Spike wonders.

"It's so small. Maybe they just toss it?"

"Don't toss it, recycle it," Spike quickly answers.

Sam nods before he heads back to the kitchen to get a plastic bag to put the garment into. "We can't leave it in this, by the time Ed gets back here it'll stink for sure. I'll just rinse it out," Sam suggests. "You change her diaper."

"Why me?"

"You're the bomb guy. You handle sticky situations," Sam smiles as he heads for the kitchen and pulls on a pair of rubber gloves.

"Not funny," Spike retorts. "You do it."

"You made her barf, you change the diaper."

"What? Okay fine…I can do this," Spike mumbles to himself as he slowly moves in. "Sam she's a girl…it's kinda creepy."

"Ed won't be mad – I promise," Sam calls out.

"Ed won't be mad – I promise," Spike mocks his friend as he slowly peels back the tape and then leans back on his heels. "Seriously Sam, she only looks cute. She smells…"

"Do you really want to go there?" Sam counters as he leaves the sleeper on the sink and heads back to his friend to help.

"Okay get me some of those…seriously this is gross," Spike lightly chuckles as he gently lifts both Izzy's feet into the air with one hand and then pulls out the soiled diaper with another, handing it to Sam after Sam cleans her and then places her back down on the blanket.

"Quick put on another one before she pees on my carpet."

"Right," Spike takes the diaper and then tries to put it back into place. "Next time I say we leave her with Jules."

"She'd probably like that," Sam answers with a hint of affection in his voice as he looks down at Izzy who had a clean diaper on. "Gotta admit, she's pretty cute."

"Yeah she is…okay sleeper and then…maybe she'll just stay like this."

Sam helps Spike dress Izzy and then both lean back to watch what she does. Wasting no time, Izzy flips herself onto her belly and then starts to crawl away. "Yep Ed's kid for sure, never wanting to stay put," Sam teases as he grabs her foot, gently pulling her back down; both of them delighting once more as she fills the room with happy laughter.

"Think she'll run out of energy anytime soon?" Spike asks with a small groan as it was his turn to hurry after the escaping baby.

"Doubt it. Ed never sleeps, why should she?" Sam laughs as he watches Spike come back to the middle of the room with the laughing baby who is once again placed on the blanket and given a toy to try to appease her waning attention.

"Put on some cartoons," Spike suggests.

"Ah good idea," Sam flips to the Cartoon Network. The ploy works for a few minutes, the brightly colored animated objects on the big screen TV only a few feet away. But that only works for a few minutes, before she is once again on her belly and heading, this time for the shoe closet.

"There she goes again. Subject is trying to escape."

"Okay close all the doors. Block her in," Sam directs as he quickly pulls Izzy away before she can grab something else.

"Who said this would be easy?" Spike groans as he picks up another object she had thrown, missing a glass item by mere inches.

"Ed," both of them groan at once.

The next few hours were much the same, Izzy would try to escape, laughing at the two tiring adult males as they tried to charge after her, bring her back and then play with her; hoping to distract her into just staying put.

They fed her once more, this time with the properly warmed formula and didn't rock her so thankfully she only had to be changed once. But the next two hours were pretty much a repeat of the first hour, feeding, playing, running after her until the three of them slumped down on the couch – completely exhausted.

"Sam? Spike?" Ed's soft voice calls out as he pushes the door open. It wasn't locked and was quiet but he decided to go in and inspect before pulling his gun or calling for help. Him and Sophie enter and look at the scene before them, Ed only shaking his head and laughing inwardly.

Sam's normally clean apartment was now strewn with baby clothes, diapers, toys, bottles; basically the entire contents of the bag had been emptied. He spies the damp sleeper in the kitchen and the wrapped diaper on the counter. The pizza box was open and it looked like it barely touched and the two beers were only half drunk and the TV was playing cartons on mute. _Welcome to fatherhood guys, _Ed's mind smiles as he nears the living room, finally spying his darling daughter and her two hapless babysitters.

"Should we wake them?" Sophie asks softly.

"In a minute…" Ed smiles as he pulls his phone and takes a picture of his two junior team members passed out on the couch with Izzy soundly nestled between them; two men who could take on any tough life or death situation brought down by a six month old – priceless! Ed chuckles to himself as heads toward them, knowing that it probably wouldn't be the last time he'd get them to do this favor again.

**THE END!**

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay so sorry guys this was longer than I wanted lol but once I started I just kept going. Hope you liked this lighter-hearted piece and please review before you go and thanks! Reviews get you more stories! :D


	2. 1  1  double trouble?

**Title: Adventures in Babysitting  
><strong>**Chapter 2: 1 + 1 = double trouble?**

**A/N:** Okay so I honestly didn't expect as many of you to like chapter 1 as did (sorry I don't think I write humor very well so tend to shy away from it as most of my regular readers know) but your amazing support has given me confidence to make this into a small mini-series and so I let my muse Alice go in search of a second plot bunny and she finally found one. I hope you all like this offering just as much as the first.

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><p>"How'd we get roped into this <em>again<em>?" Sam half groans as he looks at Spike in the locker room at SRU headquarters.

"Have you ever tried saying no to Ed's face?" Spike answers with a small daring expression.

"Okay fine so I actually wanna keep my job."

"Same here…hence why we are stuck with babysitting duty again. At least it's not Friday night like last time."

"Saturday Spike…it's still the weekend, you're missing the point," Sam rolls his eyes as he closes his locker just as Raf enters.

"Then you say no to him, make him break the romantic date and hold you responsible."

"Whoa there…him? Him who? Romantic date?"

"Ed, that's who," Sam answers with a heavy sigh.

"You and Ed are dating? Really?" Raf arches his brows at Sam while Spike snickers.

"Very funny. Thanks a lot," Sam looks at Spike who shrugs. "No…it's about babysitting…for Ed."

"So that Spike and Ed can go on a romantic date? Or maybe you wanna babysit Ed?"

"Would you quit it with the romantic date stuff…" Sam rolls his eyes as Raf chuckles.

"Does Jules know about all this? I mean you and Ed?"

"That's it…you're asking for it Rousseau," Sam warns with a small smirk of his own.

"No way you'd win."

"Hey after that jab my money's on Sam," Spike states firmly.

"Okay so let me get this straight…Ed and Sophie are going out for a romantic date and he asked you two to babysit?"

"Nuts right?" Spike interjects.

"Where's Jules? I mean no offense to you two but uh…"

"Conveniently busy and don't ask," Sam huffs. "So back to our original discussion, you try telling no to Ed's face."

"Yeah man even I wouldn't go there."

"See he's afraid of Ed too," Sam looks at Spike.

"I meant the babysitting. My place isn't…kid friendly."

"Oh and mine is?" Spike groans. "I just got a new apartment."

"Hey we went to mine last time, remember?" Sam reminds Spike.

"And it survived Hurricane Izzy, remember," Spike mentions pointedly.

"No way Spike, this time it's yours."

"Hey Raf…you busy Saturday night?"

"Actually I am," Raf grins as he closes his locker and then looks at Sam and Spike, "but uh…yeah you two have fun," he winks before he walks away laughing.

"Next time I say we drop Izzy off at his place," Sam grumbles as he holds out his fist.

"Copy that…" Spike agrees as his fist connects with Sam.

XXXXXXXX

"Where was Jules again?" Spike asks Sam as Ed knocks at the door with Izzy and her baby bag in hand.

"Said an old friend is in town."

"Old friend?" Spike queries.

"A girl," Sam quickly corrects as he opens the door and greets their team leader. "There she is," Sam greets as he looks at Izzy still buckled into her travelling chair.

"And she's walking now…so try to keep an eye on her," Ed informs them after a few more instructions.

"Any more good news?" Sam retorts in sarcasm as Izzy gives her daddy a big playful smile and laugh.

"Yeah have fun. Okay guys see you in a few hours. Thanks again," Ed replies with a smile to his daughter before he turns to leave. But as soon as the door is closed and her father taken from her view, the little girl looks at the two strange male faces before her and starts to cry.

"Figures she doesn't remember us," Sam sighs as Spike puts the carrier down on the floor and kneels down. "Can we just take a picture of Ed's face and let her look at it all night?"

"Don't cry Izzy it's not our fault your father has poor taste in babysitters. What's wrong with Roy?"

"Would you leave your kid there?"

"Just sayin', he's Ed brother," Sam replies as Spike picks up Izzy and tries to cradle her in his grasp. "At least if she breaks something at Roy's, they can duke it out over a family picnic…you'll be…"

"What Sam? She better not break anything. Do you see how clean this place is?"

"Did you take a picture of the before so we can compare to the after?" Sam counters with a serious face as Spike just frowns and shakes his head. "Maybe you should. Remember mine?"

"It won't be like that," Spike insists in haste making Sam laugh. However, Izzy isn't happy in her current situation and lets both of them know by starting to squirm and twist in Spike's grasp.

"Okay you want to be put down?" Spike asks in a soft tone as he slowly lowers Izzy to the ground. She playfully slaps his face when he smiles and then laughs as he looks at her in wonder. "That hurt," Spike groans softly.

"She likes the dimples," Sam smiles.

"Think Ed would let me file a harassment suit?"

"Just put her down already," Sam insists as Izzy finally lands on her feet. She wobbles a bit before casting her round blue eyes upward at her two doting babysitters.

"She is cute," Spike smiles.

"I wouldn't let that smile fool you…she's still a Lane and that means mischievous and willful."

"And that means trouble," both Spike and Sam utter at once. "Clark seems so quiet."

"Trust me it's a façade. Okay so pizza again?" Sam suggests.

"Please Sam…that was _your _apartment," Spike retorts in sarcasm. "This is mine…here I _actually_ cook."

"Okay fine Chef Boyardee," Sam tosses back and Spike rolls his eyes. "Open a can then instead of picking up a phone."

"Funny. I'm making dinner. So you get to watch her first."

"You're gonna cook? How long's your mom been gone?"

"You wanna cook?" Spike retorts.

"Hey I can make a mean stirfry; Jules doesn't complain."

"Where is she again tonight?"

"Probably the same place as Clark," Sam rolls his eyes. "At the movies laughing at our expense."

"Look just watch her already, I'm cooking tonight."

"Fine."

"Sam.

"What?"

"Sam," Spike states in a calm tone.

"Yeah what?"

"Where's Izzy?"

"Oh damn."

Sam whips his head around to see Izzy missing in action and then turns back to Spike with a frown before the two of them quickly split up and go in search of the littlest Lane.

"Izzy?" Sam calls out as he heads toward Spike's bathroom. Just as he enters he hears a crash and then a cry and hurries in the opposite direction, rounding the corner to Spike's storage locker and looking at a bottle of fresh wine now lying spilt on the floor; Izzy doused in very new wine.

"Da…" Spike stops the curse as he looks at Izzy's tear stained face before she starts to whimper.

"Oh good one Spike," Sam huffs as he plucks Izzy up and then holds her as Spike picks off the few small glass shards ensuring that none had made it to any skin or was hidden in her chubby little fingers. "Now she smells like a winery."

"Hey this isn't my fault. Think Ed will be mad?"

"Try convincing him you didn't give his underage daughter something illegal to drink," Sam playfully teases as he carries Izzy back into the main room to change her.

"Yeah Ed…it was Spike and Sam's fault your daughter got drunk on Spike's new wine," Spike mutters under his breath. "Yeah that sounds good Sam."

"I heard that," Sam calls back with a small smile as he lays Izzy down on the soft blanket. "Hey Izzy…can you convince your daddy to hire a real baby sitter next time?" Sam smiles down at the baby girl as Spike enters with the room, opens his front door and then dumps the bag into the hallway.

"Smells like yeast in there," Spike groans as he heads into the kitchen to start supper.

"Hey it was Ed's idea to keep the wine in the first place so in reality we can blame him for having all this here," Sam shrugs, still kneeled on the floor in the living room.

"Right you try telling him that," Spike frowns.

"Forget it…you're daddy's the team leader for a reason – he's scary," Sam smiles at Izzy once more as he picks up her freshly changed little frame and carries her into the kitchen. "Let's see what new kind of mess Spike is making."

Izzy watches for a few fascinated moments before she decides she's bored and starts to squirm again. "Okay this time, I'm gonna watch her," Sam promises as he puts her down and then hurries after her as she turns and charges for the living room, laughing as Sam tries to catch up. "When does she run out of energy?"

"She doesn't."

Sam clutches her around the waist, hoisting her into the air and then smiling as she would toss her head back and laugh as his fingers would hold and tickle her at the same time.

"What does she eat for supper?" Sam calls out as he tries to corral Izzy before she could escape behind the big screen TV and video game console.

"Pasta?"

"You're kidding right?" Sam retorts as he holds a giggling Izzy under his arm.

"Yeah I am; that's for us. Check the bag Ed left and if you hold her like that and she barfs you're cleaning it up."

"Copy that," Sam mutters as he heads toward the bag, placing Izzy on the floor so that he could see what she would be having for supper. He pulls out a small jar of baby food and furrows his brow. "This stuff is seriously gross," Sam huffs as he places the small jar on the floor and momentarily turns his back.

Izzy eyes the bottle, her greedy little fingers reaching for the bottle and her lips instantly gumming the lid before she turns and heads for Spike's bedroom.

"Okay I found the spo…on. Damn…it not again," Sam's voice trails off as he looks around for his little runaway. "Izzy?"

"You lost her?" Spike calls out, panic in his voice.

"No…nope," Sam rushes in haste as he pushes up from his knees to go in search of her. But just as they do, they both hear another crash and trade horrified glances before rushing toward Spike's bedroom. "Ah dang it," Sam groans as he looks at the bottle of baby food now splattered against the wall, dripping down onto a pair of Spike's dress shoes and jeans.

"Sam?"

"All under control," Sam calls out as Spike enters his bedroom. "Hope those weren't clean."

"Those are…brand new," he groans. "Bad Izzy," Spike huffs as he pulls his shoes up off the floor and frowns at the honey colored gunk now seeping into the leather inlay.

"Oh way to go Spike," Sam sighs as Izzy's lower lip starts to quiver and her blue eyes brim with tears. "You just made her cry," Sam looks at Spike in frustration. Soon an all-out wail is heard and Sam starts to gently bounce her, patting her back as Spike takes the shoes into the other room and then comes back with a roll of paper towels.

"So what do we feed her now?"

"Pasta?"

"She'll get constipated," Spike retorts. "You wanna tell Ed why his daughter smells like wine and can't poop?"

"Why'd he only give us one jar?"

"How many diapers did you want to change tonight? Okay hold on a sec…" Spike goes rushing back into the other room, Sam and Izzy in tow.

"What?"

"I have some leftover carrots from last night. We'll just puree them and…and hope she doesn't barf."

Sam finds one of Izzy's plush toys and then heads back into the kitchen as Spike was putting the leftover cooked carrots into the blender and then pushes the button, Izzy's blue eyes widening as the machine starts to whirl and an orange mush appears.

"Okay cross your fingers."

"Okay Izzy supper time and you better like this or else daddy's gonna make me and Spike do parking patrol," Sam tells her in a soft playful tone as they head to the table, Sam holding her; Spike ready to feed her.

"Alright Izzy…open up and mmmmm," Spike smirks as takes a small dollop on the end of a spoon and slowly brings it toward her small pink lips, gently forcing the orange sludge into her mouth. "I think she…" is all Spike manages before Izzy spews it back and then screws up her face; Sam unable to hold back his laughter.

"Funny," Spike huffs as he takes another spoonful.

"She doesn't want any," Sam chuckles.

"Well we hafta feed her something."

"How about milk? Can't she just have some milk? Google it," Sam suggests.

"Okay here."

"What's that?"

"Your supper," Spike retorts as he leaves the table and heads for the living room.

Sam takes a small dollop of the pureed carrots on the end of his finger and then allows Izzy to gum it. "Spike…she likes it…on my finger."

Spike comes back into the room and watches Sam take another small bit, offering his finger to which Izzy takes it and starts to greedy feed.

"Hey, she's Ed's kid. Why are we surprised she hasta have it her way?" Sam smirks as Spike heads back to the stove. "You still wanna cook?"

"You're not hungry now?"

"These carrots turned me off food," Sam gently grumbles. "I'll pay."

"Just a bit longer."

Spike finishes their meal, Sam managing to get Izzy to eat nearly all the carrot mush with only getting a few bits of goo on the floor, wall and table; Spike forgetting about the drying sludge in his dark spikey locks.

"So when did Ed say they'd be back?"

"Not soon enough," Spike pauses from cleaning his shoes. "I'm gonna send Ed the bill for this. That's right Izzy, Spike's gonna hack into daddy's account and just charge him for a new pair of Italian leather shoes."

"You probably got those at Walmart."

"Did not," Spike protests. "Actually my um…mom sent them to me from Italy."

"Oh good one, guilt Ed with that; even he can't say no to your mom," Sam grins. "She's scarier than my dad."

"Okay all settled then," Spike smiles as he triumphantly holds up a semi-cleaned shoe.

"You um…missed a spot," Sam teases.

"Thanks a lot," Spike groans as he continues to furiously rub the black Italian leather. After Spike and Sam had their modest meals, Spike tells Sam he'd clean up later and the three of them head into the living room to watch a movie, hoping Hurricane Izzy would start to lose steam. "We can't watch Iron Man…here watch this…"

"Toopy and Binoo? This is lame."

"She's a baby, she likes lame stuff," Spike insists as he snatches the remote from Sam's hand. "My remote."

"Seriously next time we're dropping her at Raf's."

"Think I can get him to pay for my shoes?" Spike adds.

"You obsess about those shoes more than a girl does."

"And what do you wear on a date?"

"Shoes," Sam chuckles and Spike rolls his eyes as he looks at Sam and nods down to Izzy who was finally asleep in his arms.

"Finally. Now turn to Iron Man."

"Okay but if she wakes up it goes back to Toopy."

"Fine."

The two of them settle in to watch a bit more of the movie; talking lightly about how they would explain to Ed that his daughter only had a few mushed carrots for dinner and would up smelling like she downed an entire bottle of wine and how if there was a next time they would come up with a better excuse and actually try to say no to their team leader.

However, about an hour later the two of them fall asleep and Izzy wakes up, slowly sliding out of Sam's grasp, grabbing the remote that had fallen to the floor and rushing away; Sam quickly waking up as his body cools.

"Izzy?" Sam groans as he lightly punches Spike on the arm to wake him up. "Spike…wake up."

"Sam where's the remote?"

"Spike your shoes and…"

"Not the carrot mash!"

"Here we go again."

**THE END!**

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><p><strong>AN:** okay so yes each chappy will be a separate babysitting adventure so that's why they'll 'END'. I hope you all liked this and please do review before you to b/c am stil kinda nervous about my humor writing skills. Thanks so much everyone!

This one won't update as regularily as my Ed stories b/c well *ahem* am slightly Ed/Hugh obsessed lol (ohhh yeah just a tad) but if there if there is gonna be a third chappy – Raf might be along for the fun so if you want to see that please also let me know.

Alright back to my Ed-centric updates :D


	3. Three Men & A Baby

**Title: Adventures in Babysitting  
><strong>**Chapter 3: Three Men & A Baby**

**A/N:** Well I did promise Raf along for the ride this time so…yeah Sam and Spike get even but hey in the end its little Izzy Lane who shows who's still really in charge. Hehe and please remember humor isn't my strong point at all so if it's weak then please forgive but I do hope you enjoy!

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><p>"I think that car seat's too small."<p>

"It'll hafta do," Spike groans as he jams the buckle into the middle seat belt and then pulls back to look at Sam as Izzy looks up at both of them with an unimpressed expression. "She's not even one and I feel like I've missed the mark in some way and let her down."

"She's a Lane," Sam reminds him with a friendly slap on the back. "They have that look…"

"You mean Ed has that look," Spike remarks as he closes the back door to his car and him and Sam hop into the front.

"Ever been late for dinner and seen the look Sophie gives you? She gets it from Ed," Sam shrugs as he looks over at Spike who merely shakes his head.

"Ah Samuel you young naïve man," Spike teases.

"Ed gets it from Sophie," both of them chuckle before Spike pulls away from the curb. "So you sure about this?" Spike inquires as he glances back to make sure Izzy Lane was seated safely and playing contently.

"Hey he asked for it with his comments this morning," Sam reminds Spike as they head for Raf's apartment.

"So we're just gonna show up and…wait how do you know he's even home?"

"Oh he's home. Trust me Spike…we owe this to him…tonight Raf joins the Team One Babysitting detail," Sam smiles as they head toward another part of the city. Sam twists his head around to see Izzy inspecting the latest toy her brother had bought her, Sam watching her smile and offering her his own happy expression. However, that smile quickly fades as Spike's car hits a bump and little Izzy's pink lips start to quiver; the toy detaching from her grasp and bouncing onto the floor.

"Oh no…" Sam groans just before a loud wail is heard and Spike literally jumps in his seat.

"Sam!" Spike lightly scolds as Sam just huffs before he gestures to Spike to pull over so he could find the missing Nemo toy.

"Your driving sucks. Pull over," Sam instructs as he finally finds the toy. "Gross…there's…what did you eat this morning?" Sam pulls the plastic toy with a few bits stuck to it.

"Clean it off."

"No way she…okay we gotta make her stop crying," Sam insists.

"I didn't mean give it…here," Spike snatches the toy out of Sam's hands to clean it while Sam starts to fish around in the very familiar Ed Lane travelling bag for another pacifier.

"How about…what's this one?"

"Dora," Spike merely responds.

"Dora? They have a toy named Dora?"

"Dora the explorer? Don't you have young children in your family?"

"Does Nat count?" Sam retorts with a smirk as he shrugs but then hands the little dark haired plastic figure to Izzy's eagerly waiting fingers.

"Well?"

"Works for now. Just drive fast."

"Yeah that's safe," Spike mutters as he waits for Sam to re-buckle and then pulls back into traffic; arriving at Raf's about fifteen minutes later. Sam carrying the car seat and Spike carrying the travelling bag they piggyback into the building off another tenant and then head for their unsuspecting teammates; knocking on the door and waiting.

"Raf," Spike greets as he gives Raf a large dimpled smile; pushing his way in before Raf can get a word out, Sam following Spike with Izzy in his grasp. "We were in the neighbourhood and…"

"Right but…what is that?" Raf comments as Izzy makes a loud happy squeal at something she sees, prompting Sam to come out from behind Spike and both stand before him with mischievous grins. "In the hood? Really?" Raf asks in suspect.

"I wanted to just drop her off her and run but Spike insisted that you join us in the fun for tonight."

"Guys…I'm not babysitting," Raf insists as he holds up his hands just as Sam puts Izzy's travelling chair down on the floor.

"You really wanna say no to Ed? He's counting on you," Spike pipes up as he kneels down to Izzy to set her free.

"Hey I didn't volunteer for this."

"Nope…" Sam pauses as he slaps Raf on the back. "We volunteered you."

"You mean after this morning? Hey I was only kidding."

"We're not," both Spike and Sam offer at once just as Izzy springs free and rushes toward Raf on still somewhat wobbly legs.

"It runs now?"

"It? Raffik," Spike starts, getting only an eye roll from Sam who takes off his coat and then wanders into the living room to make himself at home. "She is a little girl and her name is Isabel but you can call her Izzy. She's Ed's daughter. You know Ed Lane…our team leader who could have us doing parking duty if we do something wrong," Spike grins.

"This is not…where's Sam?"

"Watching TV?"

"Spike he's got XBox!" Sam calls out as Spike leaves Izzy with Raf and heads off into the living room to find Sam.

"Now just wai…" is all Raf manages before he tries to take a step, stumbling over Izzy and making her toy clatter to the floor and both Sam and Spike in the other room turn to each other and utter "uh oh" at the same time. "Hey there…" Raf starts in a smooth tone as he bends down to Izzy and puts her on his knee, grabbing the toy as her little balled fists rub her watery eyes. "Think we should go and see what trouble Sam and Spike are getting into?" Raf whispers as she looks up at him with wide blue unblinking eyes. "You sure are cute," he smiles before her little fingers give him a playful slap on the mouth and a giggle ensues. "Yup…Ed's kid alright."

"See…you're gettin' the hang of it already."

"Okay so why don't you make yourselves at home," Raf sighs as he looks at Spike and Sam, each with a game controller about to get set up for a friendly competition. "But you can't play that with her here."

"Why not?"

"All I have is…"

"Shooting games," Spike frowns as he looks at Izzy still comfortably nestled in Raf's arms. "Maybe a bit too violent. Got any Blues Clues?"

"Or Dora?" Sam offers with a smirk.

"Blues…what? Who's Dora? Is that like a new rock band or something?"

"Don't you have kids in your family also?"

"Only child," Raf reminds Spike as he hands Izzy to Sam. "Hold on…I'll see if I have anything baby friendly."

"And what about dinner?"

"You guys are planning on staying here that long?"

"All night," Sam grins as he stretches out on the couch. "And see with Ed not around, technically that makes me team leader."

"He's right."

"You're on his side?" Raf asks in disbelief as Spike merely chuckles and nods. He puts down Izzy and heads for the TV, wanting to find something suitable for the littlest Lane, the three of them then talking about movies and video games and not really watching where Izzy was going. Unbeknownst to them, she had picked up one of the small remotes and headed for the bathroom.

"Where's…ah damn it, Spike!" Sam lightly bellows as he rolls off the couch and goes in search of Izzy.

"You lost her?"

"She's very good at that," Spike answers pointedly as they both hear Sam lightly curse and then grumble. "Samuel…your language."

"Yes dad," Sam calls out as he walks back toward them with a giggling Izzy under in his right arm and a dripping remote I his left hand. "Toilet."

"What? Da…I mean I just paid for that," Raf groans as Sam slaps the remote in his hand and carries on past, depositing Izzy on the floor and kneeling down to her.

"Stay."

"She's not a dog," Spike huffs as he kneels down by Sam, both of them chuckling as Raf heads into the kitchen to dry off the remote. "Besides she won't listen."

Sure enough both men watch the little golden haired baby, roll onto her side and then crawl toward the edge of the couch before picking herself up to a standing position.

"Stay," Spike commands, making Sam laugh. Both of them watch as Izzy pulls away from the couch and then heads toward the kitchen, Raf letting out a small startled gasp as he comes around the corner and knocks her over.

"Second time Raf," Spike playfully scolds.

"Bully…" Sam teases as he gets up and heads toward Izzy, picking her up in his strong arms as Spike heads over to see what they'd be having for dinner.

"So not only do I hafta deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Izzy I hafta provide dinner for you two also?"

"Spike won't eat Chef Boyardee."

"Mr. Noodles?"

"Is that all you have?" Spike asks with some disdain.

"Sorry Iron Chef Scarlatti."

"It's Top Chef Scarlatti," Sam corrects, getting an eye roll from Raf as he follows Spike into his kitchen.

"Okay Izzy lets go see what other trouble we can get into?" Sam talks to her in a soft voice as he plunks her back down on the carpet, quickly gathering a few pillows to build a wall, blocking the big screen TV and video game consoles.

"Don't go into my bedroom!" Raf calls out.

"Why not? You didn't put _your _toys away?" Sam teases.

Izzy tosses her toy over the pillow wall and then tries to pull herself up, looking at Sam who merely looks at her with a soft expression.

"So when's the pizza coming?"

"Nope. Tonight we're having Chinese," Spike grumbles.

"You wouldn't let him cook?"

"He wanted to use my strainer for his tomato sauce. You know what a pain it would be to get those seeds out?" Raf reminds Spike who looks at him in disappointment. "Cook next time."

"Next time? Next time you're on your own here," Sam mentions in haste. "We already told Ed we're done."

"Really?"

"No…but we're working up to that," Spike nods, getting two adult chuckles in return.

"Yeah it's a work in progress."

Not being happy at all with her rather mundane surroundings, Izzy starts to sputter, prompting Spike to pick her up and bounce her on his knee.

"What if she barfs?"

"She hasn't eaten yet," Sam informs Raf. "Speaking of which…let's see what Ed packed this time." Sam grabs the bag as Spike continues to lightly bounce Izzy, all of them delighted in her happy giggles; wanting to do everything to ensure the baby girl remains happy and content. "Mmm pureed carrots."

"That sounds really gro…"

"Really good," Spike nods as Raf just raises his brows. "Well she can't have Chinese. It'll constipate her for sure."

"Or give her the runs. So unless you want baby poop all over your…"

"Uh no," Raf shakes his head just as there's a knock at the door. "Wow already?"

"I'll get some plates and stuff," Spike hops up to help set the table.

"I'll get us something to drink. Raf you got any beer?"

"Yeah man check the fridge but don't touch…"

"Hey is this apple pie?"

"The pie," Raf groans as he pulls the door open. But instead of the delivery person he looks at his neighbour in surprise. "Mrs. Jenkins. Everything okay?"

"Why yes Raffik everything is fine. Speaking of fine, you are looking mighty fine tonight," the older woman smiles at him, making Sam and Spike exchange amused expressions. "I was just wondering if you were done with my coffee bean grinder."

"Actually I am," Raf answers as he turns and heads back toward his kitchen; no one keeping an eye on Izzy. In the meantime, the curious little girl had managed to once again upright herself, free herself of her pillow prison and head for the door, peeking out behind the wooden panel at the strange woman with the kind voice.

"Well hello there," Mrs. Jenkins coos as Izzy, drawn to the kind female voice comes into view and allows herself to be picked up by the kind stranger. "And what is your name sweetie? Raffik is this precious little thing yours?"

"What? Izzy…" Sam groans as Raf heads for the door with a small appliance in his hand.

"Actually she's a friends," Raf offers in truth. "Her name is Isabel."

"Well hello Isabel. You are the sweetest little thing," she speaks softly, planting a tender kiss on her little flushed cheek before accepting a small hug. "And…who's the mother?"

"A friend…a married friend."

"You know my daughter…she's single," Mrs. Jenkins smiles as Raf takes Izzy back and holds her against his chest. "If you need a hand with her…"

"Thanks, I can manage. Well you have a good night now."

"She's great with kids. I think she'd like a family, would you like a family?" The nosy neighbour presses on, garnering a few snickers in the background from Spike and Sam; neither of them coming to their friend and fellow teammates rescue.

"Yeah…not just yet. Well I gotta run. We're making dinner. So say goodnight Izzy," Raf utters in haste, waving Izzy's hand frantically in the air and trying to close the door. Mrs. Jenkins finally takes the hint, allowing Raf to close the door and look at his two friends with an unimpressed expression. "Thanks for the help guys," Raf lightly berates a laughing Spike and Sam.

"So….single daughter," Spike notes.

"Yeah you'll hafta introduce us sometime…to your you know…would be girlfriend."

"Yeah no thanks," Raf huffs as he puts Izzy down on the ground, letting her run into Sam's open arms as he heads back into the kitchen, the table now set – except for one important thing. "So where does Izzy sit?"

"Ah damn it Spike we forgot to tell Ed to bring a high chair."

"Pillow prison," Spike suggests as he plucks Izzy from Sam's grasp and goes to test his theory. He places her in the middle and then steps back, turning to his friends with a smile. The smile, however, is short lived as Izzy starts to wail, flailing her arms and wanting to be picked up again. "Maybe she's hungry."

"Okay so try this one…puréed sweet potato," Sam reads as he twists open the little bottle cap and hands Spike a spoon, the three of them now hovering around Izzy seated on the top of the empty counter. Her little lips greedily suck the spoon clean, all three males watching in anticipation.

"No repeats of last time," Sam whispers as Spike tries to feed her again.

"What happened last time?" Raf inquires; getting his answer mere seconds later as Izzy's fingers grab the spoon, Spike trying to 'gently' pry it loose of her grasp and some of the dark orange goop ending up on Raf's shirt, Izzy laughing as well as Spike and Sam.

"That."

"Now that's…just nasty," he sighs as he heads for the bedroom to change. Just as he enters another knock is heard and Sam hurries to open it, taking the Chinese food and the heading back to the table so they could all eat. Spike finds a bottle and gives it to Izzy so that the three of them could at least get some solid eating time in before they had to go back to Izzy Lane guard duty.

But just before Spike can place Izzy back into her pillow prison he turns to both Sam and Raf with a sudden look of panic.

"What?"

"Diaper change."

"Ah man really?"

"Yeah really and you get to do the honors."

"What no way?" Raf insists. "I might hafta hold and feed her, but there is no way, I'm cleaning the…"

"Oh you can say it. Poop," Sam snickers as Spike heads into Raf's kitchen.

"Better here than the bathroom. And look Sam he has a garberator," Spike jokes.

"You are not putting that…stuff down the kitchen sink."

"He's not going to," Sam rolls his eyes as lays out the padded mat and they lay her down, Izzy once again offering soft little baby words and grabbing her feet with delight.

"Oh man…" Raf groans as the three men look down at the baby girl who instantly ceases her actions and looks up with wide blue eyes. "She's too cute to smell like…that."

"It's a trap…see she only _looks _cute," Spike comments as he slowly opens the soiled diaper, the three of them standing back a few inches as the smell wafts upward. "Got any potpourri?"

"Yeah other room," Raf retorts in sarcasm. "No, just hurry and put that thing in the garbage."

"Uh Raf you hafta wash her."

"What? I'm not touching her you know private parts…'sides isn't it illegal?"

"You're just washing her," Sam forces a soft wash cloth into Raf's hand. "Now as team leader…" Sam starts with a mock serious expression.

"Yeah yeah…with that already," Raf groans as he pulls on a nearby rubber glove and then douses the cloth under the warm water. "Seriously…you guys swear you won't tell Ed about this?"

"Mum's the word," Sam looks at Spike behind Raf's back and winks. Izzy's giggles fill the kitchen as Raf gingerly cleans her pink bum and then steps back to inspect his handiwork.

"Good right?"

"Well if not and she gets a rash, Ed will come looking for you," Spike states matter of factly.

"I think you're making all this up," Raf huffs as he washes her little pink areas a bit more. "Okay there. That's all I'm doing."

"You'll hafta forgive uncle Raf, he gets embarrassed easily," Spike teases as he places Izzy back down on the clean soft padding and takes the clean diaper from Sam. "Next time Uncle Raf will be doing this all on his own."

"No way. Tonight was it. I'll babysit my own age thank you."

"Oh come on…you can even ask what's her name down the hall to help out…what is her name anyways?"

"Lafawnda."

"La…what?" Spike starts to laugh. "Raf…say it isn't so."

"Like that movie? Napoleon Dynamite? How old is she?"

"Her mother claims the movie took the name from her daughter," Raf shakes his head. "Trust me there's a reason this girl's still single."

"Lafawnda wasn't that bad…in the movie," Spike qualifies.

"Well man next time I'll give her your number," Raf volunteers as the three of them sit down at the table, each taking turns holding Izzy and trying to eat, comparing numbers on the back of their lame fortunes to see who had either the highest or lowest to see who would clean the floor of Izzy's one sided food fight.

"Man I just had this carpet cleaned," Raf sighs as he scoops up some rice bits and tosses them onto his empty plate. Izzy grabs one of Spike's chopsticks and starts to wave it in the air, striking him in the cheek and making him quickly snatch the wooden stick before she could render him blind or give him another dimple.

"Always fun til someone loses an eye," Sam plucks Izzy from Spike's grasp and then carries her into the living room, hoping to put her down into her pillow prison and pray she falls asleep so they could just relax and watch something 'adult'.

"Okay so it's eight…bedtime."

"What bedtime? At eight o'clock? On a Friday night?"

"Not for us…for Izzy."

"What time does Ed come and pick her up?" Raf asks in haste.

"Coach turns back into a pumpkin at midnight Cinderella," Sam retorts.

"Midnight? She gonna cry until then?"

"She's over tired. You gotta dim the lighting," Spike nods to the Raf to turn down the light switch. Raf turns down the light and the three of them peer over the pillow edge to see a still blubbering Izzy looking up at them with round, sad, watery eyes and small quivering lips.

"Okay I have an idea…" Sam whispers as he carefully picks her up, cradles her against his chest and then looks at Raf. "Okay your turn to sing the lullaby."

"Great idea," Spike agrees in haste, making Raf roll his eyes.

"Bad idea. I gotta sing now? No way."

Sam turns Izzy's sad face to Raf, making Raf shake his head and exhale heavily. "Now that ain't fair."

"Just a small lullaby."

"How'd you two ever manage without me?" Raf groans as he leans in a bit closer. "Okay you guys ever see the movie three men and a baby?"

"Oh the song part," Spike interjects, making Sam look at him in shock. "What? I have a sister okay?"

"Yeah I do to but…what so I didn't see it," Sam frowns as his lips purse. "How hard can a lullaby be?"

"Okay are we gonna start?"

"Lead the way Michelangelo," Sam grins.

"Raf's the professional not me," Spike lightly argues back as Izzy's soft whimpers start to settle down a little.

"Okay here goes…goodnight sweetheart well it's time to go…" Raf pauses as Spike tries to sing the musical interlude, hitting a rather rusty note and making the other two laugh.

"We can't all sing in our spare time," Spike rebuts in his defense.

"What's wrong with twinkle twinkle little star? I know that one?"

"Armatures," Raf huffs as he gently picks Izzy up from the bottom of the pillow prison and heads over to his stereo. He presses play and some very soft, romantic music comes on, Raf's low, sultry voice singing along with the music as little Izzy offers soft cooing sounds as her golden eye lashes start to bat against her soft pink cheeks.

"Ah Marvin Gaye," Spike nods in agreement.

"Who?" Sam teases, garnering himself a shocked expression from Spike and a head shake from Raf. "Okay so am more a hard rock kinda guy."

"I think it's working," Spike comments as him and Sam lean in closer to Raf and a nearly asleep Izzy.

"Nice work Rousseau," Sam praises.

"Ah what can I tell ya…I know a thing or two about putting the ladies to bed," he winks.

"Be sure to tell Ed that," Sam smirks as he heads for the couch and slumps down, Raf still softly singing to Izzy. A few minutes later, however, she loses the battle and is asleep in his grasp. Very carefully he places her down in the nest of blankets, offering her tiny frame a smile before he stands back up and looks at Spike, both of them looking at Sam.

"I think you put our fearless wanna be team leader there to sleep," Spike comments.

"Ah let him sleep, just you and I will watch the movie," Raf suggests as he leaves Spike and heads back into the kitchen for another glass of wine. He returns about ten minutes later, after putting a few more things away, only to find Spike asleep in the chair opposite Sam.

"Amateurs," Raf merely shakes his head as he slumps down into the last piece of furniture. He flips on the TV, volume down low and sips his wine, periodically glancing over at Izzy to make sure she was still asleep. But the busy events of the day soon take their toll on him as well and within minutes Raf is asleep; the four people in the room happily asleep.

However…half hour later…

"Raf…your turn."

"Oh…come on."

**THE END!**

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><p><strong>AN:** So what did you think? I hope it didn't suck! Think they are getting better or still pretty hapless? hehe And am thinking that maybe next time a real outing? Hmm some high jinx could ensue with a trip to the zoo right? Hehe well hope you all liked this and please do review before you go to let me know your thoughts and thanks so much! :)

**PS:** for those reading my AU Ed/Wordy story 'Scars' will update next!


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